Third Party Recruiting -- The Easiest Job in the World!

by Phil Dubois

It's amazing just how well we're paid for an occupation that rates just slightly below professional golfers! Or at least that's what we hear. Take for example a typical assignment which generates one-quarter of the hiree's annual income..... Finally into that large multi-national account that's been harder to break than a Florida chad. Naturally, it's contingency they say as you need to prove competence. Against your better judgement yet confident in your superior talent, you agree. Sifting through an extensive network of hard earned contacts and apps, an ideal fit emerges. The "star" is qualified and runs the gambit of due diligence and your email program hums the resume away. With a barrel full of presentation ammunition you dial up the new client only to be informed the cv has been previously forwarded by 217 other recruiting firms (and 10 times directly)! Competitive juices flow as you rise to the challenge. Days of seriously sleuthing inform you that an ex-pat is flying in today from Tibet where he has spent the last five years with monks in total seclusion. You contact him, present, qualify, screen and send the resume by winged messenger. There's interest!

Friday, 2:05pm, the phone rings and the new client sounds like a metal fork scraping the bottom of a tin pan. The dreaded "no-show". Fortunately you are able to sort this out and reschedule as the candidate had been mistaking identified by local youth as a "Backstreet Boy" and unavoidably detained. The rest proceeds just as smoothly. One dozen cancellations by either side are followed closely by five psyche tests where the app barely passes the "what do you think a woman really wants from a man" question. (This was really asked of one of my apps recently!).

As the offer stage approaches, the employer rings to request which of the following you wish to hear: hiring freeze, internal candidate or the bosses' cousin has returned from the Nile. Sidestepping these pitfalls a proposal is tabled. Mr. App now has seventeen other potential offers and only now advises you he wishes the document to be reviewed by the US justice department. Counting the blessings of not having to deal with counter-offers a wire from Brother Tib arrives in an attempt to convince the candidate to return to the pure life. Somehow, some way, the offer is signed after three months of negotiation, two low balls and one deportation scare. You manage to avoid the "no-start" but mysteriously the invoice keeps disappearing. Didn't you know, advises the employer, no bills are paid unless you possess a P.O. number, are received on a full moon Tuesday in the Chinese year of the Dragon? As all comes to pass and as the account is to be settled tomorrow, the app quits over the lack of Yak meat in the company cafeteria.

Thus is the leisurely life the recruiter, vastly overpaid and under-worked. Naturally not all assignments transpire as above, in some we actually earn our money. Phil Dubois Pride In Personnel Inc.

Phil Dubois, Pride In Personnel Inc.